Well I'm doing homework and life has been rough,
I've had trouble getting into school but that has finally worked out and I am in school.
but I've been looking for a job and have hit the pavement for quite a few weeks, yet to no avail.
I still have bills to pay though, so this is a very difficult situation.
I'm quite stressed because of the lack of finances I have been.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
I need a Break or Somethings Gotta Give!
So a much as it dismays me to say this.
I have been procrastinating life! for a few months it seems like.
and then the things I've been procrastinating or running from make me feel bad that I haven't done them and I feel guilty because of it.
So I am attempting to change that.
I also feel as though my soul is in Discord because of lifes massive questions and points at which I've been pulled or am pulling and nothing is budging:
-a Job (which I have been seeking out since february)
-school (which always puts some stress on us, especially as I am trying to learn, and enjoy it and do really well this year)
-intimacy with G_D (for those who don't know I've been in a spiritual desert since november, and I am seeking the L_RD now more than I was)
-money ( since I don't have a job my income is non-existent and actually in the negative, I recently bought a subway card for 81$ that I put on a credit card because the only way you can get around this town is by the subway and I am just asking and relying on G_D to be my faithful provider. it is Y'sh'a that gives and takes away, all that we have, and right now Income has been taken away from me, perhaps because I'm not a good steward of my money, or perhaps just to allow me to dig deeper into G_D, I really don't know. I also can't pay rent and its due tomorrow, please PRAY for my situation)
-seeking first the Kingdom (this is baffeling to me still and I am trying to do it, well seeking out how to grow deeper with the L_RD in intimacy and also whether the Baptism of the Holy Spirit is something that G_D would give me as HIS son or not)
-pursuit in a relationship (not much to say on this except I have questions for G_D about my future before I decide to pursue this friendship further)
This is not eloquent whatsoever but that is why my soul and heart are in discord within me.
on the up side; I am going through the Psalm and G_D highlighted a verse for me last night,
Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
HE didn't mention anything more, just pointed that verse out to me... so I'm "waiting", "anticipating" and "hoping" toward the L_RD of lords, the Alpha and Omega.
but my faith is weak and I fear and worry about things 2pm tomorrow will come around quickly and if I don't have rent, I am not sure what will happen, but I will feel like a failure...
failure seems to be starting to set in as it is because of the weight of LIFE.
G_D! Can I praise you from the pit?! (Psalm 30:9 - reference) You are unable to FAIL G_D! what do you want to teach me!?!
well now I'm rambaling please forgive me, and lift me up in your prayers.
may Y'sh'a Bless you abundantly for taking the time to see whats going on in my life.
P.S.
Dayanu:
-It would have been enough L_RD if you would have saved my soul and left me be,
-it would have been enough if you would have lead me through childhood with parents who care for me,
-it would have been enough if you gave me all the jobs I've ever had and all the income I've ever earned
-it would have been enough to send me to college in michigan
-it would have been enough to send me to college in new york to film school
-it would have been enough to give me a place to stay with wise, G_Dly people in new york
-it would have been enough to give me a roommate who <3's(Loves) you L_RD
-it would have been enough to give me an amazing group to fellowship with
-it would have been enough to give me time with my family on vacations since I've moved to new york
-it would have been enough to give me people to spend sedar with this year for passover
-it would have been enough to supply me with friends who encourage and lift me up in times like these
Y'sh'a it would have been enough just to die for me, and give me 1 chance to get it right, but you G_D are faithful in all things, even in the times when the path of righteousness is rough and the ground I walk on is uneven and there are rocks about but you walk with me throughout;
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
Comfort me now L_RD for you restore my soul, only you Restore My Soul! (reference - Psalm 23:3)
P.S.S.
This is my life as of late.
~Jonathan
I have been procrastinating life! for a few months it seems like.
and then the things I've been procrastinating or running from make me feel bad that I haven't done them and I feel guilty because of it.
So I am attempting to change that.
I also feel as though my soul is in Discord because of lifes massive questions and points at which I've been pulled or am pulling and nothing is budging:
-a Job (which I have been seeking out since february)
-school (which always puts some stress on us, especially as I am trying to learn, and enjoy it and do really well this year)
-intimacy with G_D (for those who don't know I've been in a spiritual desert since november, and I am seeking the L_RD now more than I was)
-money ( since I don't have a job my income is non-existent and actually in the negative, I recently bought a subway card for 81$ that I put on a credit card because the only way you can get around this town is by the subway and I am just asking and relying on G_D to be my faithful provider. it is Y'sh'a that gives and takes away, all that we have, and right now Income has been taken away from me, perhaps because I'm not a good steward of my money, or perhaps just to allow me to dig deeper into G_D, I really don't know. I also can't pay rent and its due tomorrow, please PRAY for my situation)
-seeking first the Kingdom (this is baffeling to me still and I am trying to do it, well seeking out how to grow deeper with the L_RD in intimacy and also whether the Baptism of the Holy Spirit is something that G_D would give me as HIS son or not)
-pursuit in a relationship (not much to say on this except I have questions for G_D about my future before I decide to pursue this friendship further)
This is not eloquent whatsoever but that is why my soul and heart are in discord within me.
on the up side; I am going through the Psalm and G_D highlighted a verse for me last night,
Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
HE didn't mention anything more, just pointed that verse out to me... so I'm "waiting", "anticipating" and "hoping" toward the L_RD of lords, the Alpha and Omega.
but my faith is weak and I fear and worry about things 2pm tomorrow will come around quickly and if I don't have rent, I am not sure what will happen, but I will feel like a failure...
failure seems to be starting to set in as it is because of the weight of LIFE.
G_D! Can I praise you from the pit?! (Psalm 30:9 - reference) You are unable to FAIL G_D! what do you want to teach me!?!
well now I'm rambaling please forgive me, and lift me up in your prayers.
may Y'sh'a Bless you abundantly for taking the time to see whats going on in my life.
P.S.
Dayanu:
-It would have been enough L_RD if you would have saved my soul and left me be,
-it would have been enough if you would have lead me through childhood with parents who care for me,
-it would have been enough if you gave me all the jobs I've ever had and all the income I've ever earned
-it would have been enough to send me to college in michigan
-it would have been enough to send me to college in new york to film school
-it would have been enough to give me a place to stay with wise, G_Dly people in new york
-it would have been enough to give me a roommate who <3's(Loves) you L_RD
-it would have been enough to give me an amazing group to fellowship with
-it would have been enough to give me time with my family on vacations since I've moved to new york
-it would have been enough to give me people to spend sedar with this year for passover
-it would have been enough to supply me with friends who encourage and lift me up in times like these
Y'sh'a it would have been enough just to die for me, and give me 1 chance to get it right, but you G_D are faithful in all things, even in the times when the path of righteousness is rough and the ground I walk on is uneven and there are rocks about but you walk with me throughout;
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
Comfort me now L_RD for you restore my soul, only you Restore My Soul! (reference - Psalm 23:3)
P.S.S.
This is my life as of late.
~Jonathan
Sunday, March 29, 2009
The Psalmist
As I should be writing a paper right, I come online to write a blog about the Psalmist.
So here it goes.
I was reading Psalm 23 the other day
And I never understood or made sense of why I shall not want...
to be continued... I am on the phone with a friend who needs my assistance...
continuation
Apr 10th 2:19pm
Psalm 23:1
The L_RD is my Shepard,
I shall not want.
this always confused me cause I want lots of things but G_D showed me that HE leads me throughout life and so all my wants are nothing in comparison with how much HE desires to bless me. So I am stepping forth in blind faith that HE will be what HE promised.
So here it goes.
I was reading Psalm 23 the other day
And I never understood or made sense of why I shall not want...
to be continued... I am on the phone with a friend who needs my assistance...
continuation
Apr 10th 2:19pm
Psalm 23:1
The L_RD is my Shepard,
I shall not want.
this always confused me cause I want lots of things but G_D showed me that HE leads me throughout life and so all my wants are nothing in comparison with how much HE desires to bless me. So I am stepping forth in blind faith that HE will be what HE promised.
Its Late!
Its 5am on saturday march 29th well the date will be posted at the bottom, wow I'm really tired, and also I just drafted my support letter which was pushed back because Of school which I'm in.
School is great and fun and boring, and entertaining all at the same time.
I'm taking; Post Exile Jewish History, Remedial English, and Intro to Theatre Arts.
my order of favorites is Jewish history, Theatre then English.
Its pretty sad I'm in this english class but oh well, thats what happens when you don't put forth effort in previous years of school live and learn I suppose.
I am working on a video that will be able to be watched to gain a better understanding of this mission trip. But first I must rest and tomorrow I have homework so really I just need to work on it a little tomorrow and a little each day until it is finished.
thats something I'm struggling with is planning my days to be the most productive as possible... anyone have any suggestions for me?
lastely I'm still in a financial situation that being that I don't have a job yet, I was recently hired to befriend an elderly man and hang out with him but that doesn't start until 2 weeks from now, and rent is "due" at the beginning of the month so please pray with me that G_D will provide me with the means to pay my bills.
thats the update so far.
thanks for reading.
NIGHT!
School is great and fun and boring, and entertaining all at the same time.
I'm taking; Post Exile Jewish History, Remedial English, and Intro to Theatre Arts.
my order of favorites is Jewish history, Theatre then English.
Its pretty sad I'm in this english class but oh well, thats what happens when you don't put forth effort in previous years of school live and learn I suppose.
I am working on a video that will be able to be watched to gain a better understanding of this mission trip. But first I must rest and tomorrow I have homework so really I just need to work on it a little tomorrow and a little each day until it is finished.
thats something I'm struggling with is planning my days to be the most productive as possible... anyone have any suggestions for me?
lastely I'm still in a financial situation that being that I don't have a job yet, I was recently hired to befriend an elderly man and hang out with him but that doesn't start until 2 weeks from now, and rent is "due" at the beginning of the month so please pray with me that G_D will provide me with the means to pay my bills.
thats the update so far.
thanks for reading.
NIGHT!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
09 is the Yr of Blog
I'm currently working on a Video for Jews for Jesus for a mission trip, that I was just accepted on that takes the whole summer; with 7 weeks in Israel and 3 weeks in India.
I will let you know when its complete so you can see it.
speaking of which I need to get back to that but, just to let you know I'm going to blog now to keep all of you posted on my life.
I will let you know when its complete so you can see it.
speaking of which I need to get back to that but, just to let you know I'm going to blog now to keep all of you posted on my life.
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